10 snippets of middle school funnies

Sometimes the funnies are directed at me, other times I just simply overhear the hilarity...enjoy

1) student "How old are your parents? Are they in wheelchairs?" me "no! my parents aren't that old! my grandparents aren't even that old!" student "your grandparents are ALIVE?!.....are they in wheelchairs?"

2) observation: student "You guys, you smell like humans. I'm a martian." - yeah, I have no idea either

3) just after I got a new plant for my classroom...student "Did you get a plant so we can have more oxygen?"  -why yes, that's exactly what the plan was

4) I have some students who always think something is wrong, but I think I got the icing on the cake for "pain."  During a movie on the freemasons, a girl comes to me asking to go to the nurse because her toe hurt.  She thought she had something poking her, like a splinter except she never used that word.  Anyways, I got this whole sap story and let her go to the nurse.  When she came back she said it had quit hurting when she got there but still got some pain medicine just in case.  Hypochondriac?

5) I have some replication of famous American documents, like the Declaration of Independence.  It cracks me up how many students, with shock on their faces, ask me "Is this real?!" It's particularly funny when they ask after the document has been on the board for a week.

6) one girl to another who just got a good grade back "Stop! No! don't bring your good energy close to me."  - enjoying the melancholy

7) best praise during prayer request time: "the new iOS6 is coming out soon!"  - oh kids and their technology

8) I have this one student obsessed with paper origami.  I get a new creation each week.  It started out simple swans and now I'm getting hovercraft!  Plus, I have to keep them all!  I have a whole collection in my window seal.

9) Can I just say that my daily sugar intake has probably doubled since becoming a teacher.  Actually, I didn't even have a daily intake before!  chocolate=sanity.

10) I almost quit my job after this question... student "Miss Jones, what's the capital city of Islam?"